It is amazing how the death of someone you love exposes this lie you tell yourself, that there’ll always be time. You can go months or even years without speaking to a dear old friend and feel fine about it, blundering along, living your life. But discover that this same friend is dead, and it’s devastating, even though your day-to-day life hasn’t changed one iota.
The final paragraphs are a mess of blood and bone and gray guts. The Great Depression ushered in the debunkers, chief among them Louis Adamic and his recently radicalized friend, Carey McWilliams. The article also recounted the Great Water Caper — the creation of the Los Angeles Aqueduct — which permitted the city’s rapid expansion in the first decades of the 20th century.
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“Danny and I don’t talk about these things” was all he said, according to Lewis. Friendship is the rare kind of relationship that remains forever available to us as we age. It’s a bulwark against stasis, a potential source of creativity and renewal in lives that otherwise narrow with time.
Romantic relationships, marriage, family—that’s where the real grant money is. They’re a wormy mess of ties that bind, whether by blood, sex, or law, which makes them hotter topics in every sense—more seductive, more fraught. Your parents, if you’re lucky enough to still have them, have lives so different from your own that you’re looking horizontally, to your own cohort, for cues.
- I pulled in $3,000 in a month and a half while only going to the track two or three times a week.
- To the contrary, the track represents the possibility of wealth without labor or “soups.” At the same time, it is not a place of leisure or social exchange.
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It’s not wholly natural, this business of making our own tribes. And it hardly seems conducive to human thriving. The percentage of Americans who say they don’t have a single close friend has quadrupled since 1990, according to the Survey Center on American Life.
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